What To Say When An Estranged Family Member Dies. For many, the holidays can be a time of deep reflection, longing, o
For many, the holidays can be a time of deep reflection, longing, or anxiety, especially if you’re navigating family estrangement. May 15, 2024 · Comprehensive Support: 50 Ways to Help a Grieving Friend or Family Member While Caring for Yourself 50 Ways to Support a Grieving Friend or Family Member At The Heart of Miss Bee, Inc. Whether your distance from family members has lasted a few months or several years, the emotional weight of that estranged relationship often becomes more intense during family gatherings. Explore a sample letter to estranged family member to rebuild a broken bond. Oct 31, 2019 · We asked grief experts, therapists, and authors what to say when someone dies, including what to write in a sympathy card and other ways you can help friends and acquaintances when someone they know is grieving. When an estranged family member dies, we can be flooded with a rush of emotions, some of which we may not have felt for the deceased for years or even decades. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? The loss of a parent is never an easy thing, but often the death of an estranged parent or one who has been absent from the children causes feelings that are difficult for the child to process. Here are some tips for promoting a sense of wholeness when an estranged family member dies, or is approaching the end of life. May 10, 2023 · Announcing the news of someone's death can be very difficult. Coping with losing an extended family member can be hard - we're here to help. Aug 11, 2024 · Despite the stigma, going no contact is extremely common: About 30 percent of Americans are currently estranged from a family member, with up to 40 percent of Americans having experienced it at It occurs when one or more family members intentionally detach themselves from the rest of the family or when there is a mutual decision to sever ties. Oct 17, 2023 · We often acted out our inherited pain on each other as children, and into adulthood. Express Your Condolences Nothing expresses your How comfortable are you with the topics of death and dying? As a culture, Americans are relatively uncomfortable with talking about death and dying until it absolutely needs to be discussed. Learn how to manage complex emotions and decisions with grace and safety. I have never seen anybody in so much emotional pain as when hearing a story about how their daughter, mother, sister, or any other close family member has stopped talking with them. An appropriate words of condolences letter to send to a family member for a beloved distant relative. Explore steps, emotional challenges, and strategies. Will you regret it if you don’t go? Dec 10, 2025 · When someone you care about has lost a loved one, it can be hard to know what to say when sending condolences. Learn expert tips on writing letters that rebuild family bonds Dec 2, 2025 · Two other family members had previously been charged after the tragic family affair: her sister, Kimberly Park, and Richard Falor, who was reportedly Rebecca Park's fiancé. What was the relationship like when the person was alive? Apr 10, 2023 · When confronted with an estranged sibling’s death, some are as stunned by grief as the relatives who maintained a close connection. Aug 26, 2025 · Welcome to our guide on what to say when someone dies in Christian settings. This is normal. We've got ideas to help you build bridges. Feb 10, 2025 · Find the right words to say when someone dies unexpectedly. So I think again, that’s likely to really vary depending on the individual’s experiences. Grieving an estranged parent when they eventually pass is complicated as the hope of reconciliation dies with them. I support many clients through this exact process. Sep 13, 2024 · Learn how to write a eulogy for an estranged family member with compassion and honesty. Sep 10, 2016 · For loving parents, telling an estranged adult child about a family member's death can be a decision they wrestle with. To help I’ve written these condolence messages aim to give you some ideas of what you can say. Growing up in our family, with all its chaos and confusion, manipulation and misinformation, abuse and abandonment, it is no surprise that we carried battle scars. ) How do you respond when someone experiences a death such as this? May 2, 2023 · Death is a very traumatic experience, and that grief can never be replicated or compared. This guide explains how to tell others about someone's death. The wife, although estranged , was never legally separated nor divorced from roommate. Those were difficult days for all of us, each with our own burdens to bear. The decision to attend or not attend the funeralis a personal one and depends on many factors. Funerals are typically a time to say goodbye and begin a long process of grieving. Oct 10, 2018 · In the past, the names to include on these lists may have been obvious. You can learn to live without this person in your life. Some comforting words to say include: “I’m so sorry to hear about your family member. Sep 6, 2010 · The same can be said of family members and how you will most likely interact with them. Sep 13, 2025 · Guide to death certificates Where and when died This column should provide date of death and a location or full address. Processing emotions at the best of times can be difficult, but even more so when in times of grief. Losing a loved one is a difficult and emotional experience, and it can be hard to find the right words to say to offer comfort and support. ” “Your relative is in my thoughts. Allow yourself to feel each emotion, from sadness, guilt, loss, anger and remorse; even loving relationships usually hold some regrets! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. But more and more the nuclear family is being replaced by the blended family, which brings obituary writers into somewhat uncharted territory. If the family is unable to afford the cost of a funeral and are instead relying on the estate of the deceased, someone would need to front the cost of the funeral, since most estates can take months (if not, years) to settle. Mar 17, 2018 · A close family member has just passed away. Is it okay if some family is left out of an obituary? It is not uncommon for there to be some estranged family members or individuals who you do not want to list in the obituary due to their strained relationship with the deceased. I was her only child, but we hadn’t spoken, or even tried to be in touch, in the previous decade. Jul 31, 2024 · This month, the advice columnist answers a question about being invited to family gatherings while estranged. These are the do's and don'ts for comforting someone who lost a loved one. Messages that are sensitive to the complexities of this type of loss. She Aug 20, 2025 · Finding the right words to say when someone dies is never easy. May 18, 2023 · It's hard to know what to say when someone dies and how to make a bereaved person feel better. Jul 25, 2023 · Much as people who have lost a family member to death may talk often of feeling their presence in their body or consciousness, the same capacity is absolutely true with estranged relatives. Sep 7, 2018 · Here are some tips for promoting a sense of wholeness when an estranged family member dies, or is approaching the end of life. Dec 11, 2025 · We’ve compiled a comprehensive list of example condolence messages for the loss of a parent, partner or spouse, child, sibling, extended family member, or friend. Jun 27, 2018 · Losing a loved one can make you not like people for a while. g. Covers married couples, civil partners, children and other relatives. On the. If you are considering whether or not to attend, ask yourself these questions: 1. ” But I think a death of an estranged family member can also be a relief to some people as well that the pain and the strain of that damaging relationship is no longer existent. Sympathy cards always felt cringe to me, even when estranged family member weren't an issue. I've lost both my parents, so I have a better grasping of what to say *after* a loved one passes, but in the waiting period before, giving our family complications, I just don't know what to say. Society expects us to feel sad and down when anyone dies, but for many, that just isn't the reaction that comes to the fore - especially with an estranged family member. Jul 20, 2025 · Comforting Words for Family When Someone Is Dying Grief counselor Michaela Hudson recommends spending as much time as you can with the family to express your love and care. A single session can bring clarity and calm to something that feels overwhelming. Oct 3, 2014 · Being estranged from a family member can be one of the most painful events to occur in one's life. Jul 20, 2020 · For the purposes of this article, I am going to focus on what to do if you are the person who has been cut off by another family member. 12 to life in prison without the possibility of parole. We offer a few tips on what to say when someone dies and how to be a good listener. The most important thing is to be supportive and be there for the person who is grieving. Both may leave a significant void in someone's life where physical presence used to be. Roommate died unexpectedly months ago. Learn expressions that provide comfort and support in times of sudden loss. 2001). Information on who can and cannot inherit if someone dies without making a will. But what does it look like to say goodbye to still-living parents? How do you mourn the loss of an estranged family member? Apr 10, 2023 · The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. We’ve also included some example messages to send to coworkers who are grieving, as well as helpful insights from mental health experts on supporting people through grief. 6 days ago · As the Beckham family feud unfolds, it highlights a growing societal trend: the prioritisation of mental health over toxic family ties. How do you mention an estranged relative, ex or other awkward relationship in an obituary without creating discomfort within the Figuring out how to inform someone of a death by text is never an easy task. From deathbed visits to funeral services and estranged relationships, here’s a warm, practical etiquette guide for supporting others through grief and loss. Estranged wife and two grown children wanted no part of his burial, nor the cleaning of the condemnable property that before now wasn't allowed to be cleared out as per roommate's demand. Some people may feel nothing, just feeling completely hollow. She had died at 85, sitting in her armchair watching television. Jan 12, 2026 · A Ventura County Superior Court judge sentenced Zarbab Ali Jan. Take inspiration from our eulogies for difficult relationships examples. Here's how to cope when you get asked insensitive questions and more. Jul 25, 2023 · Many relationships lapse back into estrangement after attempting to reconcile. Identifying what to say to your family or friends when someone is dying means you must confront your own discomfort with the topic of death and dying. May 20, 2025 · Writing to an estranged family member is one of the most emotionally complex things you can do. The post Stepmom starved 11-year-old girl to death while other family members 'consumed full meals' in front of her: Cops first appeared on Law & Crime . Though we might expect to feel relief that an The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. Nov 22, 2023 · Grieving Whatever the decision you make regarding your estranged family member, give yourself permission to grieve before and after they die – just as close family members would. If attending will help you in this process, it might be a good idea to go. Mar 1, 2021 · The opportunity to rebuild the relationship with the estranged parent is gone, but they've already been dealing with the loss in another way. Nov 19, 2023 · If you are searching for what to write in a sympathy card message for a distant relative, you need to check these options out. These are intended both for people who come from estranged families and those who care about them. , parents) with whom they were not close and, in fact, sometimes had acrimonious relationships with (estrangement, abuse, etc. Some have regrets over unfinished business. Feb 25, 2013 · I would like some guidance on figuring out what to say. , we are deeply committed to educating individuals about the necessity and importance of supporting grieving friends and family. People didn’t always die at home. Apr 10, 2023 · The illness or death of an estranged family member can present one of the most vexing moments for those cut off from that person and/or others in the family. Oct 14, 2024 · Family estrangement is cutting off or limiting contact with a family member to protect yourself. If you have been estranged from a family member, it is not automatically assumed that you will miss their funeral. A person may question their obligations to a deceased, Jan 26, 2024 · So if someone you know has lost an estranged parent finding the right words to offer comfort can be challenging. . Sharing your condolences lets them know you care Jan 27, 2023 · At least 27% of Americans are estranged from a family member. Our extended families form an important part of who we are. Experts explain when it can be healthy and how to reconcile. Get the latest breaking news Utah cares about - today's news, current headlines, and more. This close friend’s parents had split at a young age, leaving him packing a suitcase to spend every summer with a father that— to the best of his comprehension— had left his childhood uncertain and his family splintered We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Can you be forced to pay for a funeral? Legally, no family members or individuals can be forced to pay for a funeral. ” “I am here for you. These ideas should give you the right words to share. When he'd had periods of illn Dec 19, 2022 · Reconciling or reconnecting with an estranged family member or a once beloved friend can be tough. Sep 20, 2020 · Estranged/bad relationship edition. Feb 10, 2025 · Discover proper funeral etiquette for handling the death of estranged family members. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? Aug 14, 2017 · For some people, the loss of an estranged relative or friend is actually more difficult than the loss of someone you loved unabashedly. Nov 23, 2025 · Learn how to cope with the grief of losing a family member using emotional support, expressions, and practical steps for finding peace and healing. He had been poorly on and off for a few years but it was still quite sudden. You may want to adapt what you say depending on when the person died. Will you regret it if you don’t go? Oct 16, 2025 · Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley told fans they are "devastated" over their former bandmate Ace Frehley's death on Thursday in a statement. As someone whose estranged parent just died last week, I advise that if your gut says don’t visit or call, don’t do it. Here's a list of dos and don'ts to aid in rebuilding a relationship. It is not easy when an estranged family member dies - I wish you well. It's hard to know what to say when someone dies. But it's important to say something. Use our examples to create a personalized letter or card that also includes your words and personal memories. For others, the end of an unhappy and complicated relationship just comes as a relief. Learn how to express your feelings and extend an olive branch for reconciliation. Receiving the news of estranged family member's death can affect us in so many different ways. I obviously knew that my father and his side of the family existed, because you have to come from somewhere, but the details of the family are all brand new to me. Sep 13, 2023 · He is preceded in death by his second wife, Joan (d. It’s ok to struggle with it, and it’s ok not to know what to say. When the phone call came from my mother’s nursing home, I knew there could be only one reason. Nothing that was said had any resonance with me, couldn't recognise the person they were talking about, experienced no emotion at all. Aug 26, 2024 · Regardless of who's dealing with a significant loss, you're sure to find a fitting message. One of the most feared and traumatic situations adult children often face post-estrangement is the (impending) death of a parent or relative. 1 hour ago · You can say “family first” all you want, but when someone in your life hurts you over and over and shows no sign they’re interested in changing, it becomes a matter of self-preservation. What does this mean for modern family dynamics? Oct 29, 2013 · Death of a Distant Relative What to Do When a Distant Family Member Dies It's never easy to know what to do when tragedy strikes. Here are some evidence-based tools to help you deal with the grief of an unresolved, alienated relationship: Nov 5, 2021 · I was reminded of grief’s turbulent and unique makeup this last week after my creative director shared an account of a close friend losing his semi-estranged father. Sep 27, 2022 · If you are writing to a distant relative to express your sympathy for the death of another one of your distant relatives, it doesn’t hurt to reiterate what your relationship to them is, just so they can keep the family tree clear in their own head. 2010) and his first wife, Margaret (d. The delicate balances in a parent-child relationship coupled with the intense emotions that accompany the grieving process can be overwhelming to handle. Shannon Robinson is accused of fatally starving and neglecting her 11-year-old stepdaughter, who weighed just 43 pounds when she died last year. KSL is Utah's #1 source for news, sports, weather, and classifieds. But, when you first learn of the death of a non-immediate family member, take action right away— or at least as quickly as you are able. Follow these simple steps to write and share an appropriate death announcement, in memory of a loved one. Jun 3, 2025 · Discover 15 heartfelt letters to reconnect with estranged family members. Here’s how I’ve found peace through it all. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Dec 13, 2024 · 'According to our research, today, 1 in 2 adults is estranged from a close relative,' write Joshua Coleman and Will Johnson. Aug 13, 2022 · If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve probably found yourself estranged from a family member. Dec 22, 2025 · Not sure what to say when someone dies? Use these heartfelt condolence messages for texts, sympathy cards, emails, and coworkers—plus what not to say, how to offer real help, and thoughtful follow-ups after the funeral. May 16, 2024 · Let these notes of condolences be a source of comfort for those mourning. Find a nice blank card and write a personal note. However, the grief that follows when someone has been estranged from a family member or loved one can How to talk to someone when they are grieving One of the most helpful things you can do for someone who is grieving is be there to listen. September 20, 2020 12:00 PM Subscribe I have a few friends who have recently lost family members (e. I didn't know that my grandfather had any siblings until about five years ago and the only family members that my father talks to regularly are all from his mother's side of the family. Here’s some tactful tips and examples to help you navigate. What is Unresolved Grief? Difficult relationships make writing eulogies challenging. Apr 5, 2021 · When an Estranged Relative Dies, Some Face Grief, Regret and Relief Some have regrets over unfinished business. If you'd like help clarifying what you want to say or whether writing is even the right step right now. Dec 6, 2019 · A close friend/colleague and my DH persuaded me to go, I wish I hadn't. I reached out to my biofather’s spouse when he was still in hospice and made plans to visit him (he died before we could, should have taken that as a sign) and attend the funeral. Rabbi Elliot Kukla works in hospice and has seen this often. Estrangement can manifest in various ways, such as cutting off contact completely, having limited or superficial communication, or maintaining a strained relationship. But how do you handle the feelings of emotion that begin to flood you when you either hear of that person’s death or that they have little time to live? How should you react? Jun 6, 2023 · Being estranged from family or loved ones is a significant, meaningful loss. Jun 25, 2023 · When you have an abusive family member and that member dies, one of the most common issues brought to mind is, “Do I go to the funeral?” Another feeling that engulfs people estranged from a deceased parent is “guilt” — guilt about what could or would have occurred had a different path been chosen.